* *
when you love something,
set it free.
when its meant to be,
just take it back.
→ peevish sensitive
whimsical, sometimes torment
sluggard mordant & a little insecure
WARNING: Highly addictive once consumed. May contain harsh and explicit contents. Side effect of excessive viewing/reading, mental derange.
Twitter @ heymoonshoney
no rush no rush
Im like awake so early
My sleeping pattern have been quite irregular lately. And I think Im having some
skin problem, gotta get some medication w/o going to the doctor.
Anyways, since its today, Happy Birthday Rizq!
So, Ive been thinking alot these days.
And yes, I guess I am nonchalant. I face things calmly.
You know, Im feeling real bad cause by right, how can I just get over a r/s
of 2yrs plus in within like 2weeks? But there's really nothing wrong
with moving on wrong right? Esp when there is no replacement. There isnt
any, just to make things clear. I thought I was doing good cause Im
progressing quite well, handling my emotions and everything almost perfectly.
When you struck me with things that had nvr crossed my mind. And now I gotta hold back
to really think if Im doing the right thing. Gee. I feel really bad in a way cause
it just feels like im moving on too quickly (but ive told you what caused me to move
on) and its so true. It was my last resort, but I cant do much, cause it was really hurting me.
I didnt tell you how I really felt, instead I gave you support saying I understand
everything cause I rly did. I understood what you were facing. Assuming you know what
you're doing, I supported you, cause it seems to be helping you somehow.
Karma is a bitch. Maybe Im a wuss afterall and everything that I said was bullshit. The
future is nebulous right now, I dont think its the right time for me to make any move.
Meanwhile, I'd like to be alone, take a break, lets not put myself into any position
where I have to commit myself into something. Lets all be friends. No rush. Cause I like
how things are right now, for me I mean. For your case, you're finding it hard to settle
down etc. I'd like to help you, but if the only way is for me to get back to you, Im
sorry, I cant, not now. I don't wanna give anybody hope, thats why Im telling you to
just forget about it and move on. I know its hard, but I really don't want you to get
hurt, well, more hurt. I cant promise you anything cause Im in a muzzy state myself. I
don't know what Im doing, I dont know how Im feeling about things.
Can I just not think about all these for a day? This is driving me nuts. I hope everything
would be over before school starts, cause I really dont wanna interfere my studies.
I wanna do well, my future really depends on me. You too right..
I don't wanna say this cause you might see it differently, but I realized, I dont need a
man. Im just saying that you don't need a babe too. Just build that inner strength alright.
Sidetrack: "What?! April? Its not even march.."
FUCK MAN! I ALMOST WANNA POST A BIG BOLD "FUCK" THERE
EVEN A BLIND PERSON CAN SEE, CAUSE I TYPED THAT WHOLE SHIT LOAD
OF STUFF ABOVE, AND IT SUDDENLY TURNED PAGE AND EVERYTHING GONE
I SWEAR HOTMAIL SHOULD COME OUT WITH AUTO SAVE TO DRAFT OR SOMETHING
THANK GOD I TYPED IT ALL OUT IN NOTEPAD, HENCE YOU CAN STILL SEE IT THERE
FINE I'LL STOP CURSING NOW
So, I intend to post pictures, but its piling up already, too many pictures taken.
I'll just post some recent ones (: or i dont know. whatever
The 7th picture, they're cousins btw haha
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t h o t z
its time we learn, we can't have everything we want
i hoped you learned a lesson, now that you've lost something
so great in your life. (not being evil)
Its fair, cause i lost mine too. But I guess, there's more the
future can bring. Wake up, all these might not be that bad
after all. There's many more people out there, I swear, they're
better than me, I have my flaws too, just no one knows.
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"meet the ex(s) day", nic said.
This is life, love
I've went through this before, and I gotta go through it again
Someone's gonna get hurt, face it.
At the end of the day, it lies on me, I make the decision
damn, Im really sleepy. I cant talk more, knocking out soon
its only 10 now.
On a different note, finally its ending. 3weeks plus of mens, wonder if
its coming next month ??
I am so weak.
I cant. I cant. I cant do that.
That is so wrong, gee. I hate having to see myself repeating
the same mistake over and over again. You are so _______.
thanks girls for making my tuesday an awesome one :D
hanis is gonna be far away 
all the way to jurong
fuck dont think im going out again anytime soon, as in with friends.
i am broke, pokai. i shall hibernate.
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tak perlu punya update
lots of pictures need to be edited and email them to my relatives
you guys gotta be patient, this gonna take some time,
even though i got no school and all, and i might look like i got no life,
i still have other priorities in life, not just your pictures, and all
your pretty faces lol, kidding, imma do it asap (:
damn, i cant stop biting my nails, they're so yummy,
tell ya'll why tmr, with pictures !!
okay bye, imma read myself a bed time story haha kidding
Oh and everything is wrong, wrong timing,
my uncle only invite me to Aust when i already start schooling GRH!
you guys gotta be patient, this gonna take some time,
even though i got no school and all, and i might look like i got no life,
i still have other priorities in life, not just your pictures, and all
your pretty faces lol, kidding, imma do it asap (:
damn, i cant stop biting my nails, they're so yummy,
tell ya'll why tmr, with pictures !!
okay bye, imma read myself a bed time story haha kidding
Oh and everything is wrong, wrong timing,
my uncle only invite me to Aust when i already start schooling GRH!
Comments [2]
Clit Teaser
Tell You Something (Nana's Reprise) by Alicia Keys
"anything just picit me.."
lol, isnt that like how those mats talk, idk, i still think its funny
"picit"? wtf. haha
anyways, i didnt planned anything for any days, except maybe this coming
wednesday, and some other days, but fingers crossed, hope everything goes well.
man, what am i supposed to do then?
are you telling me im supposed to just remain that way, stone forever?
in that same f*ing position in life? that would be sick. This is so complicated,
it sucks when you have to figure out whats on people's mind. I mean, i like it
but not in times where, you feel so screwed and everything, no. What do guys
want actually.. hmm.
I was all ready for a stay-at-home sunday, plus the weather was really great,
i like the after rain feeling. But I eventually did get my butt out of house. Went
to the library w/ sham, borrowed some books, we were so disappointed cause
we've reached our loan quota, lol, we could only borrow four books. I chose
self-improvement books, and ditched those story books i picked up earlier. The books
are very helpful.
"I was searching for how to deal with break up kinda books the other time.."
i look at sham and pointed out a book "How To Deal With Break Ups" or something
of that sort.
"Omg, you uh."
"I know, im good right? haha"
but nah, I didnt borrow that book, I just think I dont need it, haha chey.
Ovaries still grumbling once a month, but this is like the third week already,
is this normal? hmm
For a while black clouds didnt just hover over my head, they poured with seemingly
endless rain. I felt like I have no motives to get out of bed, a purpose.
But these days I do, i'm feeling valued, mentally, and that makes me happy. The way
I live my life is my call. Im having my room all to myself for a few months now, feel
like I want to perfectly feng shui my room, so nothing can destroy my ambience haha.
is there any remedy to not disappoint people anymore, i think i disappoint people alot.
and nobody knows how bad i feel, its crazy, im effing mad at myself. It sucks, yes.
Please please please, I know friday mean something to you, but really, I have no
definite answer, yet. Cause it clashes with something else, and it if does, there's no way
my parents gonna say yes(?) well since its a family thing, geeeee
I still remember the time I wasnt able to make it to my class bbq cause its friday and
it clashes with this. I know!! Its class bbq, how can I not go?!?!
I really gotta pack my day with purpose, it prevents me from over-analysing my life,
though some self-awareness and analysis is a good thing.
Note: To F, i've listened to the song, and yes, its kind of my situation,
yes, you won't see me cry, cause I haven't been crying (: i won't let it show.
I figured there's no point of crying. I have my motive in life already. We should go our
own ways. You got stuff to do, remember? This is for our own good.
I know, what a disappointment, but Ive decided. Besides, you told me to, so are
you tryna hold me back? I dont know, you tell me. Tell me what's good,
and I'll tell you if it really is. (: You know me well, Im a honest person,
I portray a strong front too, I handle my emotions well.
lol, isnt that like how those mats talk, idk, i still think its funny
"picit"? wtf. haha
anyways, i didnt planned anything for any days, except maybe this coming
wednesday, and some other days, but fingers crossed, hope everything goes well.
man, what am i supposed to do then?
are you telling me im supposed to just remain that way, stone forever?
in that same f*ing position in life? that would be sick. This is so complicated,
it sucks when you have to figure out whats on people's mind. I mean, i like it
but not in times where, you feel so screwed and everything, no. What do guys
want actually.. hmm.
I was all ready for a stay-at-home sunday, plus the weather was really great,
i like the after rain feeling. But I eventually did get my butt out of house. Went
to the library w/ sham, borrowed some books, we were so disappointed cause
we've reached our loan quota, lol, we could only borrow four books. I chose
self-improvement books, and ditched those story books i picked up earlier. The books
are very helpful.
"I was searching for how to deal with break up kinda books the other time.."
i look at sham and pointed out a book "How To Deal With Break Ups" or something
of that sort.
"Omg, you uh."
"I know, im good right? haha"
but nah, I didnt borrow that book, I just think I dont need it, haha chey.
Ovaries still grumbling once a month, but this is like the third week already,
is this normal? hmm
For a while black clouds didnt just hover over my head, they poured with seemingly
endless rain. I felt like I have no motives to get out of bed, a purpose.
But these days I do, i'm feeling valued, mentally, and that makes me happy. The way
I live my life is my call. Im having my room all to myself for a few months now, feel
like I want to perfectly feng shui my room, so nothing can destroy my ambience haha.
is there any remedy to not disappoint people anymore, i think i disappoint people alot.
and nobody knows how bad i feel, its crazy, im effing mad at myself. It sucks, yes.
Please please please, I know friday mean something to you, but really, I have no
definite answer, yet. Cause it clashes with something else, and it if does, there's no way
my parents gonna say yes(?) well since its a family thing, geeeee
I still remember the time I wasnt able to make it to my class bbq cause its friday and
it clashes with this. I know!! Its class bbq, how can I not go?!?!
I really gotta pack my day with purpose, it prevents me from over-analysing my life,
though some self-awareness and analysis is a good thing.
Note: To F, i've listened to the song, and yes, its kind of my situation,
yes, you won't see me cry, cause I haven't been crying (: i won't let it show.
I figured there's no point of crying. I have my motive in life already. We should go our
own ways. You got stuff to do, remember? This is for our own good.
I know, what a disappointment, but Ive decided. Besides, you told me to, so are
you tryna hold me back? I dont know, you tell me. Tell me what's good,
and I'll tell you if it really is. (: You know me well, Im a honest person,
I portray a strong front too, I handle my emotions well.
When a relationship is right, it is wondrous. But when its not, whats the point?
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mmm
You're
in no rush to hook up with anyone -- and it's a beautiful thing.
Instead of getting involved with the first person who stumbles in your
path, play the field and scope your prospects. You can always dump Mr.
Right, but you'll have to divorce Mrs. Wrong.
everything matches.
hmm
I love mysteries,
i'd like to be a detective,
or maybe like Nancy Drew 
I like mysterious guys
ok whatever, what am i talking
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no title
All the while, Ive told myself over and over again,
remind myself how I should really move on. Cause I really should.
No options. Im progressing well, since I dont feel hurt anymore
or bothered much about what's going on, on the other side.
I gotta move on, cause theres no point anymore?
I somehow cant wait for school to start, I just dont know why.
Life's sian, but Imma enjoy every bit of it now, when else would you
be given like 5mths of holidays ?? 
(no insult intended)
I am a nice person, too nice. The fact that I let a guy walk out of my
life without being punished for what he have done was kind of me.
I calmly said,"Nah, its okay.." (its ok? really?) I didnt curse the guy
or applied any force on him. I obviously dont deserve all these,
but I have to face whatever that's thrown on me yeah? There's no
way I can avoid it, like how you cant control what others think or
say about you. I don't like conflicts, hence I tried many ways to make
us end things peacefully. And im quite happy with hows things
between us now, me and you. And about the other girl, its your
problem, I have no control over that (: just think before you make
any moves, dont rush, she can wait(i think lol)dont repeat the mistakes
that you did, I dont think you wanna lose another girl you love in the
future right(?)
all the best in your life.
I am a nice person, too nice. The fact that I let a guy walk out of my
life without being punished for what he have done was kind of me.
I calmly said,"Nah, its okay.." (its ok? really?) I didnt curse the guy
or applied any force on him. I obviously dont deserve all these,
but I have to face whatever that's thrown on me yeah? There's no
way I can avoid it, like how you cant control what others think or
say about you. I don't like conflicts, hence I tried many ways to make
us end things peacefully. And im quite happy with hows things
between us now, me and you. And about the other girl, its your
problem, I have no control over that (: just think before you make
any moves, dont rush, she can wait(i think lol)dont repeat the mistakes
that you did, I dont think you wanna lose another girl you love in the
future right(?)
all the best in your life.
miss you
(no pun intended)
hehe
P.S. FJ* gotta tell you something, confirm you'll laugh hardcore, but dont kembang ah,
you're still a pea to me, tak kecut, tak goyang ah eh HAHA
*Faris Jealous
oh btw, im sick, but hopefully my mum won't send me to a doctor
I DONT WANT! I AM NORMAL!!!
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AWESOME!
Good job you guys! Finally posterous can be password protected !! 
but nah, i still want people to read my posterous. SIAN,
but now atleast, its more convenient for me to post a private post,
or maybe im making another posterous, a private one.
Its none of your business anyway huh? Well, since, at this very moment,
i have the feeling, there are some uninvited readers
not a good sign, obviously
Comments [3]
Good Day, Good Fun
like i said, its a good day, good weather, windy(atleast from where we were seating)
me and nic, we went to apply job BJ face haha ok
which took us only a short while, I hope we get it cause i got no life!
and we slacked, nic had her lunch
hilarious! Just too much to mention, everything we did was funny!
Paris, you sotong ah? Wanna meet me then go home, like this ah now, haha!
So after nic left, drop by Paris' area, and we chatted. (tsk, i know la Paris,
you're jealous, my life is always better than yours =P) so anyways, we
had a good laugh over things, ya dah im a very straight forward person,
unlike your ahem. haha But im fun okay! i know you're gonna read this,
thats why im mentioning you a lot, when else will I mention you man? HAHA
just kidding. F you la, you know last time, people always call me as Faris' gf,
then now Faris' ex!! eh, can you please call me by my name?! omg, i got
a name ok. My name is even nicer than his, some people even think its
sweat and unique, dont know what that person meant by sweat, haha,
dude im just kidding, btw, my name is not unique at all, maybe only in my school.
So Paris, dont think everyone wanna follow you k, later I tell people your secret,
that you take steroids HAHAHA! (and yes paris, i know you learnt alot while
we were together, glad to know that ;D, me too )
okay pictures and a vid, exclusive, cant find anywhere else. The rest of the
pics at facebook! :D
haha me and nichi, me and my siamese twin lol!
Get the Flash Playerto see this player.
oh yea, look at paris man, he look like he gained weight,
confirm he's living a happy life now =P (dude, you know im just kidding, i knw hw u feel)
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Comments [1]