to those sad people out there
cheer up, plaster a fake smile
they make wonders

and b,
you should really forgive yourself
its the first step to moving on
i dont hate you for the things that you did,
the fact that im the person you hurt the most,
so you really should not hate yourself either.

i know you felt so stupid,
i felt you were real stupid too.

but thats not the point.
everybody tend to make mistakes,
everybody should be forgiven,
as long as they learnt something from it

today was short but fun
fine, we'll print out all our pics soon
and do that quiz again next time

its good enough that we're friends

nothing you do can change my mind

thanks for asking, im doing good (:

anyways, this is my 100th post, as you can see, my title

im bored, i got no life
so, i spent my time watching this girl, Morgan live
(shut up. dont ask how i ended up there and watching her)
she's cool, she's blonde haha
i think i should get a webcam !!

anyways, you guys can check her, and others out at blogtv.com
http://www.blogtv.com/people/LasVegasBarbie

so anyways, i know you guys would wanna know hows things,
and if i dont mention here, you guys would probably still ask me personally.
hmm, we're good, we're friends! awesome friends. we've made things clear,
i think we did(?) i know, probably some people might hate him, or her, or me.
But im telling ya, i guess we should just chillax. What happened between
them is just between them, I dont wish to know either, unless its disturbing me.
But right now, its not, cause well, me and him are just friends in the first place.
YEAH! Everybody is calling him my ex, instead of his name!! haha, whatever,
its cool. Bottom line is, i dont hate anybody, i didnt meant to say all those
harsh things, i dont want to make a huge fuss out of it.

yesterday's wedding was cool, cause it was a javanese-like wedding, and i love it
cause there's kuda kepang, where they're possesed haha, i love all that, maybe
i'll post some pictures later, currently im lazy. Im sorry, it runs in the blood. Im a
malay, kinda half boyanese. But since my dad's a normal malay,
im considered just malay too. Yeah, my dad's side, there's a mix of chinese and
indian. That's as far as i know. Gotta admit, the food at the wedding was terrible.

wooo im baking cheese cake soon
wish me all the best yea
here's some recipes http://www.philadelphia.co.uk

yea, trying to be like Tyra Banks, Ellen, Oprah, give free gifts on some special
occasions lol, but i got nothing much to give ): but i'll be very happy if more people
are aware of my site, maybe subscribe to me too. I post whenever i want and can.
I talk about anything, but probably more of myself my life, my daily rants. I know
it gets real boring most of the time. Imma try to spice up this holy place haha

alright thanks for reading, enjoy your day! where ever you are
Singapore's weather have been really terrible these days, scorching hot and hardly
any breeze. And now its unpredictable, quite happy cause finally its raining.
Everywhere is so hot, Aust. too right?

take care everybody, drink lots of mineral water, take in less salt and sugar

last night, i was all nostaglic
listening to the song we used to sing
and i could still remember that very look on your face at the back of the class
when we were in sec two.

wow
i just sat on a chair and stare at the LCD screen
and thousands of thoughts went through my mind within such a short time
yea, they're just thoughts, vague ones, but somehow they made so much sense

i realized, after this breakdown, i didnt stop for a second or two to look
at it again, to learn something from it, i didnt. But its not too late..
I realize how much someone you really trust can do so much behind your back,
the person you love the most would hurt you the most,
giving someone a second chance doesn't assure they would change,
do not fully trust anybody(along the way, i forgot that),
being with someone for quite sometime, doesnt assure you know him/her inside out
and so much more..

Honestly, some time ago, I did study a little bit on how to know if someone's lying,
and I did detected some, I just wasn't really sure.
http://www.wikihow.com/Detect-Lies

sorry, i didnt mean to start the post this way. I dont even intend to mention anything
related to that anymore ..

how about this? im sure it will totally change the mood.
so yesterday, i was out, to some crowded place(i didnt want to)
and someone fucking grind me!! eeeeeew utterly disgusted

i mean, if its your significant other or so, that might arouse you,
but this? a stranger?! and it happened so fast, i didnt know who it was
eeeew

so how do you feel now? haha


knowing that people know where i live is freaky

i think i do have that philosophical attitude
and i totally get it when they meant ignorant is bliss
not ignorant in a stupid way, but being ignorant,
like not knowing facts about something.

am i supposed to be grateful that all these
happened to me
is this like some blessing in disguise?
yeah probably right?
they say its a new year, its a new life

btw, i actually reached my weight target of
40kg. Happy? Ofcourse. If i can hit 30plus
hell yeah, im crazy

my phone's batt is low now
i cant even switched it on, i dont wanna recharge it.
Lets see if i can live a day w/o it.. hmm
honestly, im doing this cause i just dont wanna hear from anybody.
dont get me wrong, you know sometimes you just wanna be alone?
yea

i kinda like my life actually, cause im free
but you see, negative things give a stronger impact on anyone
just like how bad influences are always stronger than the good ones.
we're just humans. You see i like it, I would really wanna study on
how the human minds works and the emotions and everything

but dang it. In this world, to even start studying all that, you must
be smart, fuck you man! Its so freaking unfair isnt it. So what
happen to the people like me who have interest in such, but might
not be that bright? They end up having to do something that
they don't want to, not just that, its for life!

but whatever our era is facing right now
i cant imagine how those just born babies life would be.
education is so tough right now, or is it just Singapore's system
can they really take it? In ten years time? How isit like?
Even the environment makes a difference too, the air we breathe in
everyday is so polluted (blame china), and nature is irreversible.

well, time will tell, really? Time won't tell. Hence, they emphasize
alot on how we should do something to save the Earth, cause its our
actions that will affect the time.


finally something different eh?


i just laugh to myself cause my bro's reaction was hilarious
"who's wedding?"
"this person's grandchild..means you guys are cousins, very close.."
"whoa .."

btw, i honestly dont know who's that, even thou we're cousins lol
yea all he did was that, so freaking fake man

Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are:
precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way.
Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.

"philosophy students make better lovers"
haha!

okay, im gullible too
since i actually ate your words
but, you're so pro!
i didn't have a clue
nobody had

and fine. i take back all those words.
i am so mean. told ya i can be a bitch
im sorry to the girl, you know who.
since, well, i might not get my facts right
and i might even offend her friends
who might be my friends too
oh well, it depends on who you side,
but if anybody were to know the full
story, people should be siding me.

oh well, im saying this again,
as im still on the right side of mind.
you see, i do watch what i said,
and thats very considerate of me

i even deleted some of my post
knowing people actually read but
they dont comment . . .

On a happier note,
Fadly haha you did make me feel better
thou it was all what i actually said to you
last time hmph! So it does work huh? Im good.
and others too, thanks for keeping me on
track whenever i start blaming everything
on myself when its totally not my fault.

Phew, im attending some wedding today,
wah not bad, V'day. Okay la. This year i spent
it with my family. -.-" something different.
Yeah, i actually freaking cancelled all my plans,
somehow i regret it. But thats ok, there's always
some other time. It doesnt have to be today..
right? err.

i shall shut up now, i didnt ate anything at all
today. except a candy. and my family's
getting suspicious i guess. Cause last week,
i ate alot, and i change drastically now.
can you imagine, its been like 6days or so?
wow, fast.

Last words, i just wanna say that im quite
sad with things now cause, we didnt separate
cause of any girl, and i have to lose him
while some girl actually get him. Totally unfair!
Like what?! i lose you to her $@#%^^%$
fine uh, shit happens. And yah, im am very
stupid, i know. I should just leave now right,
no big deal anyway. True. Everybody with me?
haha

its overrr. im not blaming anybody
cause i hate to byeee

finally, you can see a lil bit of myself now huh
in the way im typing k wth lol
i hope im not gonna eat too much again

NOTE: Harsh content. And this is my site
You dont have to agree with whatever i said.
And you can hate me for all you want ;D
but you cant deny this, i do make sense

She is cheap. He is so naive.
Im glad im non of the above. I don't get it
yes, we all know she had a crush on him etc
since god knows when, its just INFATUATION
By having a guy telling me he have liked
me for years still doesnt make me fall for him
if i dont like him. What are you saying?
Its all out of pity? And you're so gullible!
Besides, even thou she likes
you its not like she actually waited for you
all these years while we're together. She
actually had so many other r/s right? That
just shows she's not serious about you.
Its okay, im moving on,
and im actually looking at how long you two
can last!! *clapshand* okay la, dont know
why you guys still denying when you
guys are holding hands and all already.
But if you guys are really not together,
thats worst cause you guys like hmm,
intimate already. But, CONGRATULATIONS!!

and dude, ive told you from the very start,
yes she is helping you handle this situation,
she is by making you forget me and build
feelings towards her. No offence, but isnt it
all so true? Oh im sorry i am so bad to say
all that. Oh well, we're two different girls
anyway. She like guys for pleasure, while
i like guys for who they are. Somehow, I
think you two deserve each other in a bad
way. (nichi remember what we talked about
*winks*)

Yea, im probably saying all these to make
myself feel good, problem?

Everybody should make themselves feel good.
Atleast im moving on without using anybody
unlike some people. Oh dude, to think about it,
its alright ah, she's willing to be used anyway
hehe. Yes, i dont wanna use other guys,
like how im preventing other guys from
expecting so much. Cause i feel, i would be
such a bitch if i use some guy just to move on.
When you actually aint really into him. And
especially when the guy is really sincere and
serious about you. (But for your case, im certain
its puppy love, so you can continue with w/e
your doing, she's loving it anyway)

Alright, wow, thats very wordy.


sorry im just very honest, and all those
are just thoughts pouring out

here's a vid to complete this post (:
gee, F should sing this for me man,
totally what it is. And yea, big girls
like me should not cry. (:


P.S. Probably whatever i said recently
might have a side effect or whatsoever,
just so you know, sometimes, i dont meant
what i said. Thank you. And i have no
intention to embarrass/hurt anybody.

i feel like im wasting my time and effort now
cause all you do is inject pain into my heart
i know im prolly thinking too much or paranoid
and im sorry i dont understand you and your
split personality life.

but atleast be considerate.
you can instead talk to me, you dont
know how worried sick i was, and then find
out all these. You said, thanks for being so
caring, know what, i wish im not, but i cant
help it. And i hate myself for being too nice.
Thanks for being honest, but times like this
i wish you would just lie to me, cause
truth hurts. But i know, if you were to lie,
im still gonna get hurt afterall.

The least i did was to _____ ___ __ _____
cause I didnt wanna hurt you. And also because
i wasn't ready. But you? i know you have noone
to talk to compared to me and whatever you're
doing is beyond my control. But my feelings and
thoughts are beyond my control too. And
everything thats happening is just sick.

Im sorry to hear that people's in danger,
and that i might be in danger too. Its nice of you
for putting my safety first.

the point is, right now, i feel like a spare tyre
and thats VERY SAD

And im already feeling real bad about this guy.
I dont wanna give you hope. But i gotta be
honest with you. Right now, ofcourse you can
understand everything, but after a while, im quite
sure you're gonna get tired of me and the way
my life is, i swear. Hence before it gets more
serious, i gotta tell you that rather than spending
all those nice gifts and your cash on me, i
dont deserve you (:



btw, im gonna be MIA for a few days.

oh and they're together
yeah probably im the last to know oh well
he's such a fucker right?